When people think of depression, they normally picture someone isolated in a room by themselves. Perhaps they picture a cave, perhaps they imagine sitting alone in a chair. Perhaps they imagine their bed.
What they may not imagine is a mother holding her newborn, or a father with a bloody nose, or a teenager, or an uncle with cancer. They don’t imagine that it could happen to anyone.
My depression started when I was 22 weeks pregnant. The pregnancy went fine. I went home after the miscarriage and everything seemed fine. I even got up the next morning to get my son from daycare and then to go to work. That was until I got to the grocery store and couldn’t find him. I asked everyone I passed and they said he was with the other son. I even told my doctor and she said she had seen all of my previous son’s belongings. Why else would they be all packed into a single duffel bag? She had to ask me to go to another room to look at the bag and the next thing I knew I was in bed. Why else would I be crying?
The next few weeks were a blur. I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t eat and I just couldn’t get out of bed. I found myself looking at the wall and saying to myself, “Why don’t they let me sleep?” I told the doctor what was going on and she told me to get out of bed and I did. She told me to take one of the many sleeping pills she had and I did. I stayed in bed for another week and a half and the symptoms only got worse.
I went to the E! Channel on television and they showed a commercial for a new sleeping pill. I couldn’t believe they put that one on TV. But I bought it anyway. And it was horrible! It made me sleep for 16 hours! I had to get out of bed every 2 hours to feed my family and I felt like a monster.
I couldn’t get to sleep and my mind kept talking to me, “Why don’t they let me sleep?” I couldn’t figure it out. I didn’t want to go outside and get the kids from daycare. I didn’t want to leave my house. And I felt like I was in a nightmare.
Then I did something that shook me to my core. I asked God why I was depressed. And He told me He was proud of me and told me to get help. And He told me that if I needed help He would help me.
And He said, “I have had pride like Goliath. Goliath was defeated by men, and He was not disgraced. Goliath stood firm. Goliath will stand firm. But you have had humility like sheep, who cannot stand firm.” (Isaiah 11:6)
“But you have had humility like a lamb. The wolf likewise lies down with the lamb, and the cow too shall lay down with the ox. And I will give you rest; then I will lay me down, and you shall see My rest.” (Psalm 45:5-6)
So, after that week and a half of torture, I got help. I got the Depression Diet. And I’m living the life that Isaiah promised me. I have had humility like a lamb. I’ve had depression like a worm. And I’ve had the life He promised me. Yes, it was hard, but it’s a start. If you’re depressed and you’ve been suffering from anxiety, you’ve got to find a way to get help. You’ve got to find a way to beat depression. It’s your life. It’s all of your future. Life’s too precious to go on like this.
This story was told me by my cousin. She overcame her depression.